Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

So...when I moved to Mexico I made some 'resolutions' - get healthier, lose weight, take better care of my skin; the regular stuff. Most have gone by the wayside - except taking care of my skin. Facials here are relatively cheap (around $30 for a full hour); so I resolved to go in once a month for a full facial. I've always had horrible skin texture - freckles - huge pores - constant breakouts. I figured it was time to invest some energy and money on my face - I want to avoid a face lift for as long as possible - although right now - I'm starting a savings account to pay for one.

Now you are probably saying to yourself "what a great deal, I'd do it in a heartbeat". You relax while some silent person massages you with lotions and oils...Right? Not so much. The first part is nice - rubbing, lotions, etc.; but when she moves the big magnifying light over my face and starts cleaning out my pores like she's mining for diamonds or something - I start to clench my fist, tears start rolling down my cheeks, my feet start twitching and I swear I'll never do it again. It's death by a thousand cuts. Not really painful at first - but as she works her way down to the tip of my nose; it's everything I can do not to headbutt the bitch.

I went religiously for about the first four months - then I started dreading them so much, I slipped and haven't been for about 3 months now - of course, every pore in my head was clogged - or so it seemed to the technician. Right now I'm at the "who gives a shit - I'm 65 years old for God's sake" stage, but I made another appointment anyway.

Conversation with the Plumber

Him: "Senora, I need to clean the screen on your faucet; do you have a old TEETH BRUSH?"
Me: "TEETH BRUSH?"
Him: "Yes, you know, for brushing the teeth, I need a teeth brush to clean this little screen. Do you have a old one?"
Me: "Oh you mean a TOOTHBRUSH, the correct word in English is TOOTHBRUSH."
Him: "Do Gringo's only brush one tooth at a time? That must be a lot of work."

When Money and Class Meet

I belong to the local little theater - they put on 6 shows a year and most are quite good. I usually work backstage in props or as a stage manager; it is all volunteers and a huge commitment since a production can take 2-3 months to put together. We are lucky here, we have a lot of retired professional and amateur actors so the shows are well attended.

I just finished working on a light comedy with a cast and crew of about 24. I've worked on several other shows, but this time everyone just clicked. It was a great group - lot's of work but a lot of fun.

Peter and Candace are a couple who moved down here from Boston last year and they immediately got involved with our theater. Peter was a doctor and Candace worked in a hospice back in the States. Lovely couple; she is tiny, blond, perfect hair...you know. Peter is a big Italian, loves to cook and entertain, always jovial and a perfect host.

Last night they invited all the cast and crew to their house for dinner - what a great party. Their house is gorgeous - great outside patios, beautiful pool with a waterfall, grand piano, fantastic kitchen with granite counters you could set up a bowling alley on...I have serious house envy. They had the food catered by these 2 guys who did Spanish Tapas.

I have been in a lot a homes down here - but I have to say Peter and Candace's place was the most inviting. I want them to adopt me!!

HUH?

I have been going deaf since I was around 12 years old when my brothers decided to both fire shotguns at the same time near my head and ruptured my eardrums. My hearing loss has been moderate/severe for years now. I have learned to adapt - watching people as they speak - asking them to repeat themselves over and over again - turning up the TV volume to max - and acting like I understood something - when really I didn't hear a word.

My daughter finally nagged me into trying hearing aids...which I got fitted for today. Okay...so maybe I didn't know my shoes squeaked when I walked, or my knees made a popping sound when I squat down; but other than that - good hear is highly overrated. I'm exhausted after wearing them all day; my brain is actually tired. All these noises that I can't normally hear are bombarding my brain and ears; I can hear money jingling in peoples pockets, my turn signal, the dog farting, my keyboard clicking, my gardener clipping the hedges, my gardener farting - STOP THE INSANITY!!

I took them out - I'll try again tomorrow.

Beautiful Sunday Drive

On the other side of the lake is a mountain range with a few scattered villages, about an hours drive from my house. One is quite large and famous for its 'Alpine' influence. A couple of friends and I decided to drive up and spend the afternoon.

The village, Mazamitla (which means "place to shoot deer with arrows") is absolutely beautiful. If you ever come to Central Mexico during the rainy season, add it to your itinerary. It is about 7,000 feet above sea level, in a beautiful green valley surrounded by towering mountains. It looks like they could have filmed The Sound of Music there.

We arrived around noon and spent the first hour shopping and wandering around the Plaza. The buildings are all made of wood - which is very unusual in Mexico, since they rely almost solely on stone for their construction, and the houses had bow windows - remarkable. The residents were very tall and very fair skinned; this place was not settled by Indians, it was most definitely European.

We decided to try and find the most famous attraction - a spectacular waterfall on the outskirts of the village. We drove around for about an hour until we finally found the the road. We kept noticing strings of horses going up and down the road - we figured they were for the tourists to rent. We came to a stop at the bottom of a ravine with a gate that said 'No Moto' - horses only. We decided we would try and walk down to the falls which we figured was at the bottom of the hill. A Mexican guide stopped us and said it was a '2 hour walk' - holy crap - I'm not that interested in seeing a waterfall. And no one was prepared to ride a horse down a steep ravine.

Since it was late in the afternoon and we definitely needed to get down the mountain before nightfall, we decided to find a place to eat lunch and head back down. There is a very popular restaurant a few miles outside the village. We sat down to order and suddenly these men came flying down on zip lines right next to our table. Scared the crap out of me. Looked like a lot of fun. I took a few pictures - but the day was overcast so they didn't turn out that good.

https://picasaweb.google.com/113488190525490792576/Mexico

On Being Sick

First, typhoid sucks - literally. You feel drained, no appetite, no energy, you just sit and wait for it to go away.

Second, if you develop vertigo at the same time, even sitting is a hassle.

Third, if you do get typhoid and vertigo - whatever you do - don't get a new dog. Bending over to pick up dog poop is not pleasant when you have vertigo.

But today was a new day. The vertigo has subsided, the typhoid symptoms are gone, I found the new dog a great new home, and I ate Chinese food for lunch. Life is good.

Dog Days

My little boston terrier (CK) has been acting very bored and lonely in the new house - the only other dog he has to play with is a great dane named Winston - not much of a playmate. Mexicans have a lot of dogs but rarely take care of them; not by US standards anyway. So many dogs wander the streets and die of starvation, poisoning, hit by cars, or just general neglect. They rarely neuter them so they just breed indiscriminately.

Sometimes people with dogs die or move back to the States and just abandon their pets. A friend rescued a dog from his neighbors back yard who had been tied to a tree for days without food or water and moved back to Canada. Who does that??

Lot's of Gringo's try to rescue these dogs but a lot of them have to be put down because they are too aggressive or too sick to save. There are several shelters that try to find them good homes and for a nominal fee you can adopt one.

Today I made the mistake of going into one of the shelters and found this sweet little 2 year old female - her kennel name was Buffy - I call her Chica. She was quite, housebroken, obviously someone's pet - she knows how to walk on a leash, sit on command and is sleeping beside by chair on the floor right now. I hope she works out - I have 2 weeks to return her if she doesn't

I know you can't save them all - but I hope this was Chica's lucky day.